Feelings of Joy and sadness

I have just started this kind of thing. It is late and I am think about the people in my life. I am only a stepmother and stepgrandmother, never having bestore the gift of motherhood. All my love it toward my stepkids and grandkids. Sometimes I don't feel they feel that. I was not rasie in the LDS church or a member, however they were. I became a member much later after seeing my tradgies bestore my family. My father died when I was young. With exception of my dads brother, who stayed out here to be with us, wanted nothing to do with our side. I felt like a leapoard, My mothers family up north in Minnesota was the most welcoming and reasuring to my family in this time of need. The point I am trying to make is I love my stepfamily and wish I could be more in there life. Just recently my husband and I found out that our granddaughter were baptized. No one could have given me a better present than that. I always prayed for that but was too afraid to ask. I did not want to step on other peoples toes. I don't want the belife of the spirit to be pressured but to come to the childern naturally. I don't want to offend anyone with my posting. But I can't help be let out my feelings. I want more time with my Kids!!!, Big and small. I want to know every thing that is going on. I want to hear there excitement the first time they experience dancing, swimming, exploring. But I live in another state and have to depend on communication from a one way street. Although my granddaughters received there baptiusm and that was the most important thing of all. It would have been nice to share that with them. Grandpa is a High priest.
But am grateful that our heavenly father has lend these children to a wonderful family that teaches the lds gospel. I love you all for that. Tears are following I must go.